A friend's death

It's been a little more than 3 months since Shawn left this life. But it still feels like it just happened. It feels like he is going to come back and that he has just been gone somewhere for a little while. But he is not coming back. And that fact is what hits the hardest. I didn't get a chance to say good bye. And if I did, I don't remember it because it wasn't a good enough last good bye. I want to have the opportunity to hug him one last time and tell him all of the things he did for me and how much his friendship meant to me. And how much I love him. I will get to tell him one day, and I just need to be patient. But when a close friend dies, it feels like a part of yourself has too.